Book Four: Thirty Days, Book 4 Read online

  My fingers scrabble on the wood finding a lack of purchase on the smooth surface. “Please, Taylor,” I beg for my release. Taylor is quick to oblige, crooking his fingers inside of me and finding my familiar spot all the while nipping and teasing my clit until I am simply a mass of overwhelming sensations. I cry out as a gentle orgasm washes over me. But Taylor doesn’t let up and no sooner have the last vestiges of my release dispersed than my next orgasm slams into me unexpectedly. Taylor continues to lap at me, his fingers never ceasing in their delicious rhythm, while my voice grows hoarse. When my body shudders for a final time, I collapse back onto the table top pleading with Taylor that I can’t take any more.

  Planting a final kiss against my clit, Taylor slides his fingers from inside of me and gets to his feet. He leans over me and kisses me ferociously on my lips. I can taste myself on his tongue and it sends a strange thrill through me. A moment later Taylor breaks off the kiss and moves across to the side table where he grabs a box of tissues, cleaning me up gently before helping me to sit up.

  “Well, that one way to avoid talking about things,” I quip quietly as I slide off the table with Taylor’s assistance.

  “My mouth was somewhat otherwise engaged,” Taylor retorts playfully and I am relieved to see that most of the tension seems to have left him.

  “I am not complaining,” I say. “Your mouth definitely has some great uses,” I chuckle,” But now you need to tell me what the hell happened this morning.” Taylor lets out a sigh and I can tell he is feeling reluctant. Instead of pushing him, I ask him to grab me a new pair of panties while making a joke about the state of my current pair lying in shreds on the floor. While he is gone, I tie up my dress and run my fingers through the tangled mess that is my hair. A moment later Taylor emerges and offers up the replacement pair of knickers to me.

  “You know your place,” I instruct Taylor with a chuckle.

  “Yes, Ma’am,” he mock-salutes before crouching down and helping me to pull up my panties. Yes, I am officially that big I can no longer get my own knickers on by myself. Thank heavens it is summer and I can live in slip-on shoes as I have no idea how I would have coped with socks and boots.

  “Do you want to give me a hand?” I ask Taylor motioning across to the pile of apples waiting to be peeled on the kitchen counter top.

  “Yeah sure,” Taylor responds and walks across to the island that separates the kitchen from the rest of the open-plan living space. He hops up onto a stool, grabs the bowl and peeler I had left and starts peeling and chopping the cooking apples.

  Knowing that Taylor probably needs a few moments to get his thoughts in order, I head to the sink to wash my hands thoroughly before going back to work on my shortcrust pastry. Thank heavens I hadn’t gotten far when Taylor came home so I can just pick up where I had left off; crumbling the butter into the flour. Taylor and I work in silence for a few minutes and I have all but given up on Taylor telling me about this morning’s events when he begins to talk.

  “It turns out Dad did change his will after all. I mean, I knew he was thinking about it after we had that discussion at the hospital like I told you last night. But I never thought he would go this far.” I remain silent and nod for Taylor to continue.

  “Richard got nothing, which was to be expected. Stix has a trust that will cover all her schooling and will give her enough to buy a small place for her to live in when she goes to University. The rub is that my father has put me in charge of the trust instead of my mother so of course she immediately got angry at that.”

  “And your mother?” I ask softly as I begin to roll out the pastry. Taylor’s pile of peeled and cut apples grows as he continues to talk.

  “My mother got the house, along with a small annual income. She was furious because there were some my Dad’s personal things, like the watch he was given when he graduated, that were specified for Grandmother. Plus, all of the company’s shares were also given to Grandmother. I think my mother had banked on selling those and making a fortune.”

  “Oh,” I respond as I try to wrap my head around the implications. “And you?” I ask.

  “I got nothing.” I am barely able to stifle my gasp at the thought that Taylor was also excluded given the fences that had been mended. Taylor quickly continues, “But I expected that. When I spoke to my father, I told him I didn’t want or need his money. I have a feeling the items he left Grandmother will come my way eventually because he knew that, while I would never take anything from him, I would never refuse her. The bulk of the money, though, is going straight to a number of different charities. Mainly ones that deal with child abuse.”

  We let that information sink in for a moment before Taylor continues, “I think that was the final straw for my mother. She went ballistic, screaming about contesting the will and how Grandmother was an evil bitch and calling me every name under the sun, saying I had single-handedly destroyed our family and that I should rot in hell.”

  “Oh, jeez,” I respond. No wonder he’d had such a shit day.

  “It took ages to calm her down,” Taylor mutters shaking his head. “I think at one point Gerald, my dad’s solicitor, was getting ready to call the police. I think my mother might have finally lost the plot. She wasn’t willing to listen to a single thing we were trying to say and instead she just went on and on about how it was all a conspiracy and that we were all out to get her.

  “Poor Grandmother was really shaken by it all though she put up her usual stoic front. Thank goodness Stix had an exam today so she missed the fireworks. I warned her about it and told her to go stay at Grandmother’s tonight because she has an early exam tomorrow and who knows what my mother is going to do when she gets home.” Taylor puts his head in his hands and lets out a deep sigh.

  “What a mess,” I respond, unsure what I can suggest to make things better so instead I instruct Taylor to squeeze a couple of small lemons over the chopped-up apple pieces. While Taylor does that, I grease up my pie dish and lay the pastry inside before adding ceramic beads so that I can blind-bake the bottom. I slide it into the oven and close the door before setting the timer.

  “I just don’t know what the hell to do anymore, Abs. This pile of shit just keeps getting bigger and bigger.” Taylor looks so despondent I want to cry for him.

  “We make a pie,” I say firmly before grabbing the bowl and sprinkling cinnamon over the apple chunks. “Seriously, Taylor, today you can do nothing more than you have already done. Your mother just needs time to grieve and calm down, and stop blaming everyone else for her problems.”

  “What would I do without you, Abs?” Taylor sighs.

  “Well, there would be no pie for a start,” I joke. “Look, why don’t we finish baking this pie and then head over to your grandmother’s house. I know you probably want to check on her and Stix. We can order in some takeaway and afterwards we can eat this yummy pie you and I have made and know that the people we love are safe and sound.”

  “That sounds like a great idea, Abs. You sure you don’t mind going out, Abs?” Taylor asks, looking at me seriously.

  “I am pregnant not an invalid,” I retort. I am interrupted from saying anything further by the ding of the alarm on the oven. I grab out the pie base, empty out the hot beads and add the filling before covering it with the puff pastry I had made earlier in the day. A few minutes later I am sliding the apple pie back into the oven to bake while Taylor quips that this baking lark is not very hard. He laughs as I glare at him and throw a tea towel at his face.

  Taylor insists he needs a shower before heading out so I begin cleaning up the kitchen because Taylor is just about the messiest assistant ever.

  The Sixth

  I wake up slowly, the hazy light filtering through the curtains adding to the kind of dream-like ambience. My neck is feeling stiff from the odd positions I now have to sleep in so I stretch them above my head enjoying the clicks as I feel the tension loosening from my muscles.

  “Good morning.” Taylor’s raspy morning-v
oice greets from behind me and I find myself starting with surprise; Taylor is typically long gone by the time I wake up these days.

  “Morning,” I respond glancing over my shoulder. “You not going to work today?” I say.

  “Nah. It’s your last appointment with Dr Grohl today so I thought we could celebrate afterwards. Maybe go for some lunch?”

  “Hmmm, that sounds great. It feels so weird to think that this is my last session.” This day has certainly been a long time in coming.

  “How do you mean?” Taylor asks curiously.

  “Well, I guess this now means I am officially sane. After all, David wouldn’t have signed me off otherwise. But, what if I can’t cope with Bean? What if…what if I go back to that really dark place again? I mean, I could get post-natal depression…you read all these stories about women who can’t cope with having a baby. What if I am one of them?” I feel a shudder go through me at the thought.

  “Then we simply book you more appointments with David, Abs,” Taylor reassures me in a soothing voice. “You know he is not signing you off completely and you still have to go back every couple of months to get your prescription refilled so you can always talk to him then. But if you ever want to start up the regular weekly appointments then just say the word.”

  “I don’t know why I suddenly feel so anxious,” I state, my fidgeting hands mirroring my inner turmoil.

  “I think it’s perfectly understandable to feel this way. You’ve been seeing David for months now, through all the crazy shit that has been going on. So it stands to reason that you would be nervous; he has been the one constant thing you’ve had throughout everything.” Taylor looks at me with sorrow in his eyes and I realise once again just how much he wishes that he hadn’t treated me the way that he did. No matter how many times I tell him he has to let things go, I’m not sure he ever will, not really.

  I let Taylor’s words sink in and realise just how right he is. David has been there for me through my darkest days. He was there for me after Taylor walked out on me after finding out I was pregnant. He helped me get through the mess that was my relationship with my mother and, thanks to him, we actually have become closer than we have ever been. He was the voice of reason after Hannah’s attack and all through the subsequent trial. If it weren’t for David coaching me through it all who knows where I would be now?

  It took a long time to realise it, but I have finally learnt that asking for help is not a weakness. Admitting that my suicide attempt was a cry for help rather than a real wish to end my life has been the hardest thing I have ever done and I know I would never have been able to see that had it not for David patiently unjumbling my words and feelings with me week after week. But now he says that I am finally in the place where I need to be, so with Bean’s arrival on the way, he has declared that today will be our final session, apart from quarterly catch-up meetings. I let out a sigh. I know Taylor is right but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

  “It’s going to be okay, Abs,” Taylor murmurs. “I am going to be here with you every step of the way. I’ll never let you go back to that dark place.” Taylor has wound his body around mine, spooning me like he wants to protect me from the world. “I know…” Taylor’s voice cracks as he tries to get the words out. “I know that I was the reason you ended up in that dark place and I hate myself every day for it. If I could go back and change my actions, I would do it in a heartbeat. It kills me that you have suffered because of me…” Taylor trails off and my heart breaks for the guilt he still refuses to let go of.

  I struggle to roll over but eventually I get there so that I am lying face-to-face with Taylor. “Shhh,” I murmur reaching up to stroke his cheek. “You have to let this go, Taylor. My situation was so much more than just you; you have know that. I forgave you a long time ago for all of that, and you need to forgive yourself. Bean will be here soon; a new slate, a fresh start. So there needs to be none of this guilt and stuff between us,” I say waving my finger between the two of us. “We are going to be parents, her protectors, so we need to be united in all of this. Not secretly feeling guilty all the time about the past. To quote that weird monkey-dude from The Lion King, the past can hurt but you can either run from it or learn from it. I think it’s safe to say that we are done with the past and it is time to leave it where it belongs…in the past.”

  Taylor looks at me with a soft smile. “When did you get to be so wise?” he asks.

  “Since you paid out a shitload of money in therapy for me,” I joke. “But seriously, Taylor, I need you. Bean needs you. We need you to put aside your guilt because this is a new day and it is time to start moving forward.”

  Taylor looks at me for a moment, running his fingers over my cheek. “You are so beautiful, Abs. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I can’t describe how much I love you. And the fact that you have carried our baby inside of you all these months, nurturing her, protecting her, makes me love you even more. You are my world, Abigail Hudson.”

  Before I can get a word in Taylor brings his mouth down on mine in a long, languorous kiss. I let out a soft sigh as his tongue lazily explores my mouth, his fingers running through my hair gently. In turn, I let my hands wander over Taylor’s naked torso and back revelling in the feeling of his silky skin under my fingertips. My hand brushes the tip of Taylor’s cock and I hear him let out a soft gasp, all the encouragement I need to slip my fingers around his thick shaft and give it a firm squeeze.

  “Shit, Abs, that feels so good,” Taylor moans into my mouth. I fist his cock, pumping it slowly but alternating the tightness of my grip in a move that I know Taylor loves. In response, Taylor slips his fingers between my legs.

  “So wet for me,” Taylor mumbles, more to himself than me.

  “Always for you,” I respond in a breathless voice as he finds my clit and begins to tease it mercilessly. His fingers swirl around the sensitive nub, stoking the fire that is simmering inside of me. “Please, Taylor, I want you inside of me,” I plead.

  “I want to watch you come first,” Taylor responds as he increases the pressure on my clit. I feel the muscles in my pelvis tightening, my back arching towards Taylor’s hand and then my orgasm explodes through me, little shockwaves coursing through my veins until I feel like I am on fire.

  My hand has fallen slack so Taylor maneuverers me gently, pulling my leg over his hip and then positioning his cock at my entrance. I want him inside of me so badly I push down on his substantial length, taking him inside of me with one long drive.

  “Let me do the work, baby,” Taylor murmurs slipping his hand between our bodies to find my clit already swollen and ready for his touch. As Taylor begins to pump into me slowly, his fingers pull on my nub with light pinches that have me gasping out his name, my fingers digging into Taylor’s shoulders until I am sure my nails will leave marks.

  “That’s it, baby. Let go for me, Abs,” Taylor encourages as wave after wave of my release washes over me. He never stops pumping into me in a slow and steady rhythm but I am feeling greedy today; I want more.

  “Faster, Taylor,” I gasp out. “More…harder…now!” I demand with a ferocity I didn’t know I could possess. Taylor responds by increasing his speed, his cock pistoning into me, the tip hitting my G-spot with each thrust until I am calling out Taylor’s name as I come again and again. My muscles squeeze down hard and I hear Taylor grunting as his own orgasm consumes him. I feel his release deep inside my core, white hot spurts of his seed that send little aftershocks through my nerve endings.

  With a final groan Taylor stills, his face buried in my neck. Soft kisses on the delicate skin of jawline bring me back to myself. “Hmm,” I murmur in satisfaction. Sex is far less frequent these days as I am finding it harder and harder to find comfortable positions but Taylor, bless him, has not complained once and instead seems to revel in making sure I come, even if he doesn’t. I had started to wonder how he was coping until I caught him jacking off in the shower the other day.

  “Wha
t are you smirking about, Mrs Hudson?” Taylor asks looking at me with tenderness in his eyes.

  “Nothing in particular,” I fib though I know Taylor is particularly adept at seeing through my lies.

  “Hmm, I’m not sure I believe you,” Taylor responds with a cheeky smile and a soft kiss on my nose.

  “Well, you have no choice,” I say. Taylor goes to say something else but is interrupted by the shrill ring of my alarm. “Time to get a move on, otherwise I am going to be late. Everything takes so much longer these days,” I grumble as I heave myself out of bed and into our ensuite to take a shower.

  .........................

  David stares at me over the top of his notepad, his pen tapping softly on the paper. For a change, his mouth is turned up in a broad smile rather than the analytical expression he usually wears.

  “I want to congratulate you, Abby, on just how far you have come. I know it may seem like you have been coming here forever but in real terms the progress you have made has been done in a relatively short space of time.” David stops speaking and I can feel the blush climbing up my neck.

  “I…I…Thank you, David. Really, thank you for everything you have done for me. I guess a part of me knew this was coming, but truthfully I’m a little scared. I mean, what if the feelings of helplessness come back? What if I can’t cope?” I am trying to remain calm but my apprehension is apparent in my tone.

  “Then you call my secretary and book an appointment,” David reassures me. “This is not the end, Abby. This is something you will probably be dealing with for the rest of your life. But as long as you recognise your feelings and ask for help then you will have taken the most important step. You have a fantastic support network around you. You have Taylor and your parents and your friends and work colleagues who will all be there for you whenever you need them. You have a life that is rich in good, healthy relationships so rest assured that you will never be alone.”